"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."

Monday, August 01, 2005

If I was a super hero..

Okay, so as a kid I always day dreamed about what it would be like if I could fly. Of course, I also daydreamed about doing a few of my neighbors, too. All the same -- I always wanted the ability to fly. Now, as an adult, I'd still like the ability to fly - because driving often gives me roadrage.

I'd have to say, though, that if I was a SuperHero -- I'd be one of the good guys. Maybe not if I had X-Ray vision or MindControl, but I'd at least be a good guy 98% of the time.

My roommate (who has only been my roommate for four days now) came upstairs last night and said "You're always on your computer!" The way he said it suddenly made me feel like a small, geeky, loser nerd kinda guy.

Then it hit me. He's always drinking or turning tricks! Ya know, so what's wrong if I'm on the computer? I never watch TV (its rare - super, super rare). So if I am not on the computer doing some kind of work, research, contacting people, or entertaining myself -- I'm reading a book. Not as if TV is any more beneficial an outlet.

The computer entertains me. I can sit here looking busted, it costs me no money, I can talk to friends and I can play online with friends. It's cheaper than going out and doesn't come with a hangover.

I always said if I met a guy that was into online gaming, too, that it would be a match made in Cyber-Heaven. I had gotten my previous boyfriend hooked on a game I play online, but that ended up in heated arguements and screams of "You let the dragon kill me!" -- lol -- I guess it beats "You cheated on me!" Well, he did that, also... but not important now. Can't cheat where you're at, Fukka!!!!

Okay, that was really a tasteless joke, but I can do it. I meant it in a loving way.

I am a phases kind of guy. Like I'll be really into going out for a while, then it'll phase out and I'll be into staying home and reading. Then playing games, then watching movies, etc., etc.

The real point to this post was about something other than gaming, though. It was more about how I wish I could change things for the people I care about. I know that seems to be a reoccuring message in my posts, but it's just a lot of things are going on currently that lend to those thoughts.

Today I got a phone call from my best friend. She had driven herself to the ER. It seems that after taking cold medicine and an ambien to lay down and goto sleep ...in her daze she ended up taking seven more ambien. SEVEN and still only slept two hours -- talk about a resistance.

This poor girl. She's so incredibly smart, beautiful, heartfelt and together -- that it is awful to watch this emotional roller coaster she's riding. I know it's only going to be temporary, but temporary is no help at this exact moment.

It just shows how powerful the heart is and how important emotions are. I think a lot of people sidestep those things. Money, material items .. they all seem to be what grabs and motivates people -- but honestly, when everything else is gone, all you have left is heart and feelings.

They are invaluable things. Something to safeguard, to cherish, and to share. We just need to be careful who we share 'em with. In her case, it was the wrong person. It happens, though, as disappointing as it is. I believe for every misplaced emotion and heartache it's like another stepping stone is placed infront of us. You can either become jaded, afraid and stay where you are .. OR you can step up and continue stepping up until you reach the person that is waiting for you. The person who will validate all the hurt, remove the steps behind you and lay the new ones down for you to walk together.

She'll be fine, in time, I have no doubt.

....oh and whoever knows what games, I play, that those two pictures are from gets 50 points. :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm still stuck on Age of Empires, so unfortunately I won't score those 50 extra bonus points. Maybe you'll have to school me on those....