"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."

Friday, March 25, 2011

What is love

I close my eyes and whisper your name. Having sprayed your cologne on my pillow, sometimes it eases the pain.

How I hate myself for loving you, knowing that I really never had you. I realize the game, I am aware of how it is played.

I can ignore the broken heart, I can distract myself with other things but I cannot erase the memories of all the places we have been.

A stab, a prick, torn apart. The memories are relentless, abusive and abrasive. Mocking me, taunting me, a reminder of all you did.

I am angry at myself, at you and at a heart that is unconditional. I am sad for you, for me, for having been defeated by my own love for someone proven unworthy.

Not the first. I know how the game is played. I am sure it will be played again. A new cast, a new script that changes day, by day.

I have seen beyond the words that defined what I thought we were once all about.

So tell me, what is love?

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Peaceful Slumber

I watch their faces and put stories to their lives; the nameless who pass by. Sincere and beaten smiles, those lost in their own thoughts, the angry and the sad. I watch them all, wondering where they are going and from where they came.

I catch the glances and see the eyes filled with questions. I soak in the emotion. Souls so bare and so guarded.

Often wondering why I carry the weight of nameless others. Wishing I could change the challenges and obstacles they face - in their life story that I have created. My heart breaks for the tears and frowns of strangers, for beggars and fools.

I often imagine what it will be like when the journey ends. I close my eyes and imagine emptiness, silence. I remove thoughts, emotions, dreams. I forget happiness and heartbreak.

I still don't have an answer, although every day brings us closer to the knowledge we seek - but do not want to be part of.

I guess I did not care before I was here and I likely will not care when I am gone.

A peaceful slumber.