"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."

Sunday, July 25, 2010


In the silence of my mind I can hear your whispers, like a soft rain, reminding me of who I am.

Your voice, much like a beacon to lost ships, leading me back to the person I was and scoulding me gently for having lost sight of what I had once held so important.

Displacing the illusion that only life can hold truth and opening my eyes to the mysteries that exist beyond what can be seen or touched.

Suddenly, what once were secrets begin to unfold around me like a thousand stars dancing. Each point of light speaking answers to questions only my heart remembers.

In the silence, in the darkness, in the void created by a broken heart my tears are mine alone and through them the strength to face the chaos each new day may bring.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Learn to say Good Bye.

God has offered us comfort, in our most painful moments, with promises we know to be true:

That good byes said today, will be joyful reunions tomorrow;
That broken hearts are temporary
and love eternal.

God has given us memories, whispers of those we love, so they are never too far -- even, if for a time, they are untouchable.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Down the rabbit hole

"Remember your Creator before the silver cord is cut, or the golden bowl is broken, or the pitcher shattered at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the well." -- Ecclesiastes 12:6

I lay in the darkness, waiting for sleep that does not come. My anxious desires betray me, as I stare through closed eyes into the void. Watching the colors dance, like stars, in the sky mocking me for being grounded.

I wait and welcome the sensations as they slowly begin to take over. As my body begins to vibrate and the roaring of oceans fill my mind. I try to move, but cannot. Paralyzed, I smile inwardly knowing that soon I will be free.

I think of the stars that I saw, which have now fled to another place and suddenly I can sense the rush of air as it passes around me. I keep distant my fear of the darkness, the speed, the sound and I think of you.

Now, in a room without walls, I am sitting across from you and we are talking - in silence. I can see you clearly as we discuss the many things I never had the chance to say. I am happy to know that the end is truly another begining.

All too quickly, you begin to fade as the distance between us becomes greater. I reach out, but find nothing. I tell myself that I will remember, I won't let myself forget... not again.

As the alarm clock rings... I try to remember my strange, but familiar, dream and cannot.

Once again, I forgot.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Source of Life

How long can you continue to race against the pain? How far can you run before you fall, before you succumb, to the fears that wait to overtake you.

To throw you.
To break you.

How many peaceful nights can you toss and wake in panic. How many tears can you cry, when no one else is watching you.

What does it take to accept the unknown and to let go.

Let go.

Let go of the suffering, the pain, the questions.

How many illusions can you weave, that you lay as bricks of a fortress to guard you.

I search for you, your existance. I want to know the truth of the mystery, the play, whose script we read from daily.

Your voice has grown softer. I fight to hear you clearly. How cruel can memories be, when your heart is already broken.

I am

I am wondering about mysteries; about the visions that exist in hallucinations, in the darkness of fears and in the void of moments lost. I am wondering about creation and if I have always been there. From the beginning.. watching as a spirit dancing in a sea of souls yearning for home.

Looking in the mirror I can see the images of my past, who I was, who I have become and who I wanted to be. I wanted you to love me, to hate me, to worship me, to fill me with hopes and dreams.

Drunken in the chaos I created, I yelled for help. I reached out my hand to be your support, your guide. To free you from fear and sadness. I lifted you, with hopes that it would give me strength to lift myself from the thorns. I accepted your pain, but emptiness was still all I had.

In the stillness, in my peace, I have let my ego go. In the silence, in my minds eye, I see clearly.

Listen to me, let my stories fill your mind with visions. I am here just for that, for you, to feed your soul and hold you up wrapped in the suns light.

I am here. As I always have been, as I always will be. Created and creator. The pureness of love.