"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Two letters... one hard word

"No" has never really been an active part of my vocabulary. Although, I am going to work on that more.

It's just, I have a hard time telling people "No." - "No, I do not want to go out." "No, I do not want to take you there." "No, I can not give you money." "No, you can not take advantage of me." "No, you can not abuse my kindness" ... you get the picture.

I have a deep empathy for people. The moment someone wants or asks something of me - my mind kicks into overdrive and I begin to think "Well, if I was x needing y to get to z; How would I feel?" and then it happens ** boom ** the answer is "Yes."

Not that it can be called a fault, in theory, I think being that way is one of the nice parts to my character. However, it's easily taken advantage of and abused. I mean I allow it, since I am the one saying "Yes," but abused all the same.

I don't seem to think like a lot of people do. I don't come with hidden agendas or do things with the expectation of anything in return. I do it, simply because, I believe extending kidness to people has become a rarity. It feels good, feels right and it's just who I am.

Tonight I was given some insight into a situation that has brought about this rambling. Not that I put a lot of thought behind the 'he said, she said' shit -- People love to take things out of context and exaggerate, it seems, if it can cause drama.

I am not into drama. I just keep shit real... good or bad.

Still the insight was mind food and is worth putting some thought behind. I don't want to turn into somene cold .. not that I could, it goes against everything I believe in, but I might have to practice 'no' a bit more. Might be interesting to see who my real friends are and are not.


  1. I can so relate to this post. I have the same problem which is how I wound up with people down and out living with me 4 different times...silly me thinking I could help them get on their feet...ugh! I have always been one to think if given the chance, anyone can change or turn around their life. Age has changed that theory somewhat but I still struggle to say no on given occasions.

  2. You're a good guy, and good guys are hard to find. Just be careful not to get taken advantage of.

    There's a fine line you have to walk sometimes, and hopefully someone won't blindside you and knock you off course.