Well, I've moved on. A different state, different life. New friends, new memories and while I try to push away the past it still creeps in from time to time.
How can I let go of memories that seem so long ago, but are still recent? How do I let go of expectations and hopes that I held onto so strongly. So afraid to let go... so afraid to move on.
Here I am... a new place. Making new friends, building new memories. Trying to forget, but forced to remember. It's not bad, really. I never wanted to let go in the first place -- I forced myself into a position where letting go seemed the only reasonable solution.
The heart is not reasonable, trust me.
So I've met someone new, I'm hung up on someone old and I've been reuinted with someone from my past. Now I am just confused - a sea of emotions and hesitations. New hopes, new expectations and desires from the past mingled with concerns for the future.
Everything works out in the end, for however it was meant to be. I don't question that, but I do ask myself 'what if' -- because sometimes what if is all you have to hold onto.
Feelings that are true never die..
"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."
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It's always good to start again in the spring, makes the process so much easier.
ReplyDeletelet the past be the past.
What city/state are you in these days?
ReplyDeleteI am in Orlando, Florida now....
ReplyDelete