Sunday, September 18, 2005
I just don't give a fuck
I like you, but I'll never let you know. I won't be vulnerable to you. I won't be weak. I will not submit to you, to be another victim of who you are.
I have gone so long without you. How could I possibly need you now? There is nothing you can mend; there is nothing you can fix.
Your smile is not even refreshing, it doesn't wake me up inside. You're empty. Your eyes are dead. I know what you're after.
So I'll humor you. I'll smile and take in the words you spit. As if you're in a trance, you weave a web of deceit with ease.
Why am I standing here? Tomorrow I won't recall your name. I won't keep the number you've handed me. I've already played these games.
You can think I'm easy. I've allowed myself to look that way. Calculated and planned, I know what I am doing. I've used it to keep you away.
Go ahead. Hug me. Hold my hand. Kiss me before I walk away. I'm so special to you, so beautiful. Isn't that what you say?
Don't tell me you see my hurt. That you can feel my pain. Who are you to pretend you know me? You bastard fuck. You're a vulture. I've watched you mark your prey.
It's time to go. The smile lingers until I can no longer see your face. You feel accomplished now, don't you? Do you really think you've won another one?
You're wrong about me...