Monday, October 22, 2007
That we can overcome pain, loss and emptiness.
I have learned that sometimes walking through hell is our only way to reach Heaven.
I have learned to have faith, even in the face of complete destruction.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
With all this free time on my hands to be temporarily crippled, I started wondering what happened to people I went to school with. Picking a few names of people that impacted my school years - the fag haters, studs, hos, closeted curious bisexuals - I began searching myspace and other avenues to see what has become of them.
Not surprising, but many of the sexy in highschool guys are now far from being sexy. See what cocky gets you?
What really shocked me was to find that a rather plain guy I went to school with is now a rather well known pornstar gone mainstream actor. Talk about a shock, eh? Not that I should talk, I've done my share of things - not to that level - all the same damn .. it'd been nice to know where he was going back then.
Shameless plug: Jason Schnuit. Google that one if you want to get a look at the name going from porno to popular. Might as well check now when you'll get a chance to see his package. I don't know what vitamins this boy took, but yea, he is packing a small stable. Props to you Jason - you've become sexy and you got a big dick.
Of course, it's not all about package. Unless you're just looking for a quick trick in the back of an alley, a car, a train, a church, a habitat for humanity home..... whew..... sorry I was having flashbacks.
So while I am pimping the fact that he has become sexy and his parents can be proud that he is rather well endowed -- the real purpose is to say "Good job!"
There are few things more rewarding to me than to see someone I know, or have known, be successful and achieve their mark.
Of course a nice dick doesn't hurt either. Mines still bigger, damnit!
Since breaking my kneecap, I've come to appreciate the ability to walk. How effortless it was to move, to run and how nice it is to be able to go wherever, whenever.
I've come quite a way. I can move without crutches now. I am still not really bending my knee - only because it's so huge and feels so tight that I am afraid when I bend it my kneecap is going to shoot out my leg like one of those flying UFO toys -- but I am walking.
I made the mistake of reading comments on the Internet from people that have had knee surgery like mine. Of course, for every five negative comments there was only one positive. Refreshing, right?
Continued pain when kneeling from the screw and wire (that might mess up the sex life just a little), knee giving out on you when walking, limited range of motion, people having surgery a year or so later to remove the screw and wire because of pain, etc.
I am being positive here, though. I want full recovery. I won't mind a little bit of a gangsta lean, since that seems to be the in thing at the moment, but don't want to accept less than normal results.
While I am not a muscular person, I have always liked my legs since they managed to be muscular for some reason. Now... the brokenknee leg has lost all muscle tone. It's ugly. So I figured I would try doing some minor leg lifts to get some strength going again.
Then I found out it seems our brain shuts off connection to parts of our bodies that we don't use for awhile. This could explain stupid people. Either way, it's been depressing and a little painful (physically) as I try to change that and get my leg to raise and lower as much as possible.
I go back to work on Monday (( thank God! )) ... so I am hoping with all the travel that will be involved that this upcoming week provides some level of results.
I want to be 'normal' again!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I'm not going to play that
I don't want to be one of the pretty people
Another version of someone else
Cast from your mold
To be the toy you like
Not here to please you
Not trying to be you
Got my own way
My own thing
There's no life in being the same.
Monday, October 15, 2007
I've had time to explore inward.
I've had time to open my eyes
You can go through life pretending to not notice, to not see, the pain and suffering of others. You can close your eyes and turn your head. You can close your heart and forget . You can place your hand into your pocket and ignore the damage you've done.
You can go through life pretending to be blind... or you can challenge, change and manipulate destiny.