Last night I went out with my best friend Rebecca and her friend Sherry to a couple places in Baltimore. Actually, it was a really fun night - nothing like being with two beautiful girls in a bunch of straight bars and having guys shyly asking if one or the other is your girlfriend and if so, she's really hot and you're a lucky man.
Oh if only they knew. Which of course they did know, cause I'm the first to say "Hold up tiger, I'm a cocksucker.." and watch their 'lost in the headlights' expressions.
Of course, I still want to know why the one little mexican dude kept grabbing my ass. Then again, I might not want to know. I'll try to assume he was just attempting to pat me on the back, but couldn't reach that high.
Rebecca and I are both 33 (Sherry doesn't count, she's 36, but she has a serious boyfriend) and we often sit down over coffee and discuss this going out and meeting people thing. At 33 we both feel we should be in different places. You know, the going out and partying lifestyle is for younger people. At 33 you should have a career you're happy with, a person in your life that is the one you'll be with till the end, the house, the picket fence, the dog, the saab .. you know, the nucleur family.
At least that's pretty much what society presses you to believe and makes you expect.
I might still have the person I would be with forever, but they died in a car accident a year ago after spending seven years together and Rebecca was screwed over by her Marine boyfriend shortly after he returned from Iraq. So there goes those fairytale endings, eh?
After many conversations, cups of coffee, pee breaks, and deep inner rationalizations .. I've come to believe that there really isn't any place we are 'supposed' to be - other than what makes us happy and content on a personal level. Screw TV, the media, and the happy couple that are in their 80s and been together since 6th grade. Life isn't always like that.
You could be 33, living in an apartment with your four best friends, and working a so/so job - but if you're happy that is what counts. Happiness is the one thing that outshines that big paycheck or Escalade. It's genuine, it's heartfelt and it motivates you.
It just seems people spend a lot of time rushing around trying to grab a bigger piece of everything around them, rather than looking at what they have and being content with it. I mean, I think it's good to set realistic goals and strive to something better - but not at the cost of something that is already fulfilling.
Maybe we just expect a little too much from our expectations at times...
Monday, July 18, 2005
When we expect too much from expectations...
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I recently came to the same conclusion. The "American Dream" doesn't apply to me anymore. I just want to be happy, whatever that is. One of these days I may say "screw it all", go through a midlife crisis, and become a grease monkey at Jiffy Lube. I'd probably have more fun at work and not worry about needing to spend money on lube ;-) But ya, if someone is happy, then why try to conform to what society defines as "happiness"?ReplyDelete
For me, I'm still trying to let go of some of the things I've been taught because it no longer fits. Sometimes, though, letting go can be a tough thing.
I have hthought this for a very long time, you can not judge you life by other peoples standards. If you try to you will go insane! My bench mark for me is 1)am I happy 2)am i hurting anyone else . If I can say yes to 1 and no to 2 then I am doing ok.ReplyDelete