"Time doesn't always mend a broken heart."

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

It's a little bit funny...

Okay nice weather rocks. I figured I would take a moment to put a new spin on the blog, inbetween doing laundry and trying to catch up on much neglected housework.

Things are good -- for the most part. It also seems that warmer weather brings with it a lot of people who are spawning, as I like to call it. Suddenly there are phone calls from long lost friends, ex's, etc. I'm a sentimental kind of person, so it's nice to hear a familiar voice or receive an email from someone who I haven't spoken to in forever.

So, I am happy. Even with the possible closing of my store (which means unemployed Jason) and the new financial obligations I've taken on... I am still happy, content, and even a bit excited as to how things will play out. Change has always excited me.

Change and a journey.

Speaking of journeys, I received an interesting email about my blog. The intent was nice, I am sure. I guess my writing comes across depressing. I know it can appear that way, but it is nothing more than passing thoughts, mental ramblings, or my way of looking at a situation from various points of view.

I don't tend to be very deep in person. I save that for a select few people, but when I write .. I pull a lot from what is deeper inside. I tend to ask questions that I already have my answer to. I just write to release. It's not as deep as it may appear to the person(s) who take it as a literal representation of my thoughts and feelings.

So, to set the record straight...

No, I am not sad or depressed. Lonely? Sometimes, but not often. I am certainly not pressed for any one in my life at the moment. The days of wanting someone, because they are 'someone' is well over. I'll be content allowing what happens to happen on its own. Each person an opportunity and each person a possibility, but without expectations or desires.

I've always been pretty self-maintaining. Perhaps that is why I am here, 34 years later, after all the things I've experienced. I do not break, not internally at least.

Well that is all for now... until something interesting comes along or I am on a drunken emotional rant. However, I don't go out much lately -- so drunk is a rare thing. Damnit.

Although, the offer to goto "Gay Bingo" might be some good entertainment.